I don't know why I bother making friends sometimes, because it seems that no matter what I do, something happens and i always lose them
and it's happened to me so many times that I'm starting to prevent myself from getting too close to people. you know how when you touch a hot oven, your brain is like "ow don't do that again"? well that's what's kinda happening to me with other people. am I making sense? I've had many friends that I used to call best friends, but for whatever reason, they aren't my friends anymore, or they don't talk to me, or they don't acknowledge that I exist, or they used me, or they lied to me, or something. so my brain is like "ow don't do that again." in other words, it's telling me not to get close to people. because 8 times out of 10, the people I get close to turn on me for whatever reason
i try so hard to prevent this from happening, but it always does anyways.
and I am really sick and tired of being taken advantage of. I guess people feel like they can just use me because I'm so "nice," and that I won't mind. I usually don't mind... which has really hurt me in a lot of situations... but it's getting to the point where I'm so fed up with it, and I'm actually starting to stand up for myself. but that causes me to lose friends, because apparently I'm the one that's doing something wrong for standing up for myself.
I'm also kinda sick of hearing about how "nice" i am, but then hearing people tell me that I'm too "sensitive." I am a very sensitive person, both physically and emotionally. but mostly emotionally. I take everything personally and let the stupidest things get to me. but instead of being there for me when I'm upset, my parents are like "toughen up" or "stop being so sensitive." if I could stop, don't you think I would've by now? why do so many people think that you can snap your fingers and instantly change your personality? is that possible and I'm just missing something? if it is possible, somebody please tell me, so I can stop hearing "you need to be more like this" from people every day.